(Dis)comfort

Welcome to my inaugural brazenNbrave Bloggedy boopboop Blog… Haha Exciting!! 

While I love to write when inspired, and am a keen observer of life, the computer, a fantastic tool to interconnect information and humanity, has also been my occasional nemesis. It’s taken nearly a year, and the sometimes exasperated prodding from our web maven daughter Hannah (Thanks LOVE!), to finally take my energy healing practice online after years of productive healing sessions simply through word of mouth referrals. My first blog attempt was accidentally, unceremoniously deleted due to my lack of saving bloggedy knowledge…live N learn. Alas, after a quick frustrated cry, I realized it was an opportunity to sort my desires and direction surrounding this new online endeavor, so I recalibrated and began again. Take 2… the best I can do is continue ‘keeping on’, as my uncle Tom used to declare each time something would fall out of order. Actually organizing chaos seems a subtle speciality of mine. From our home to my alchemy practice, I enjoy sorting, shifting and sharing things that no longer serve, and replacing with things, often energetic, that embrace the broad expanse of how we choose to be. We all have burdens and baggage we must eventually confront. Mine is this moderate aversion to technology in an age where privacy is public. Honestly, it scares me sometimes to globally declare, as I’m aware how swiftly we can manifest creation. Seeds of consciousness planted in the collective can catch fire, an awesome responsibility implicating immaculate expression, yet still personal perspectives. This fear only exacerbates my natural homebody nature. We desire to be unburdened from clutter, connections that deplete, cockiness, conformity…and proactively fill these voids with things that bring us joy, conscious community embracing the whole, humble confidence, uniqueness…things I’m grateful to transmute in our personal lives. So why the resistance to expansion, online or otherwise? I’ve pondered this extensively, and concluded…Its comfortable to keep myself small. This selfish action however, does little to expand our collective unity, so I delve deeper and trust this calling focused for the benefit of all.

The brightest light comes in getting out of our comfort zone and immersing into an experience that brings up ‘uncomfortable’ within. Not accepting this feeling of uncomfortable has held millions of us back from understanding our fullest potential-shrinking when we could rise, hiding when we need to be seen, remaining silent when we should speak, staying stationary when action is imperative – Yes it’s not my favorite feeling either, Its downright fucking uncomfortable, yet this feeling is a necessary emotion to face. I’ve easily survived every encounter thus far;).

Since mid 2020, I’ve been immersed in multiple uncomfortable feelings. My body, already incredibly sensitive, shifted yet again. I've dealt with various allergies and sensitivities for the entirety of my life. They have been a continual challenge, sometimes a complex puzzle to figure the cause, when the effect could result in all over body hives/rashes, constant sneezing/drippy nose, terrible itching, aches… These body sensitivities taught me a fine balance within nutrition, exercise, internal thoughts, beliefs, words, actions and intentions… as a misstep could activate significant pain. Over time, I become very adept at living in my sensitive body, understanding it’s signs and signals. Then 2020 unleashed its whoop ass and my world turned upside down. Suddenly creams, soaps, shampoos, foods, furnishings, friends… which I’d comfortably been able to tolerate for years began giving me extreme reactions. So many things shifted so fast, it was difficult for me to understand what worked well and what was reactive. I eventually ended up with chronic itchy hives all over my body lasting over a year. It was my personal hell, sheer torture. All medical test came back normal. My spirit was screaming through my body to expand in feeling. The universe needed me to immerse fearlessly, trust the process, breathe deeply and release all that ceased to serve our highest healing. It’s an ongoing process.

The sole/soul saving choice was to revert back to absolute basics-few products on my sore skin, whole foods, eco products, sea swims, avoiding harmful spaces and energies, proactive positive thoughts,…I’d been doing much of this already but further introspection, acceptance of what is and external cleansing of environment and emotions, eventually calmed my sensibilities and skin. This sensory misery occasionally comes roaring back…wreaking havoc on my skin and psyche. Though this too shall pass and my resilient skin, once healed, seems to defy aging, the curious gift of the constant regeneration clawing on it produces, oh and heaps of moisturizer.

The majority of the time, I’m quite comfortable in my own skin. There is a beautiful balance seeded into this sensitive system.  The flip side of this is my body-my earthen temple-can detect, decipher, harness and transmute energies as desired…and we are all energy! A kind of extreme energetic empathy is the global gift this beautiful high maintenance body provides. These uncomfortable sensations incite expansion, within and without me, to allow more healing energies to come through, at a critical time in humanities evolution. I imagine the Japanese raku pottery style, golden light shining through the broken. I’ve cracked open, literally raw, so as to embody & embolden our globes evolution, a healing revolution. We all have wisdom and unique gifts that are specific and special solely for us to share. Grateful daily for these gods given gifts, and the wisdom to know the difference. Hence my foray into the great unknown, fully connected to the world wide web, trusting this uncomfortable experience of putting myself out ‘there’ serves a purpose to benefit beyond my own limiting comfort zones. We are all just working our way home.